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II.- THE
RETREAT SILENCE
During the retreat,
the more silence the better. The retreat silence is a silence of
solitude, where we face ourselves and discover God. A silence in
which we feel at ease in the inner world of our hearts, where the
encounter between God and ourselves takes place. In the Spiritual
Exercises we try to initiate our young friends into the experience
of silence. The silence of honesty and truth, overcoming the fear
of facing the painful reality of our wounds, of our doubts and of
our loneliness. The silence where God gives us a better
understanding of ourselves and we become more responsible for who
we are.
If we want to enjoy
familiarity with God at every moment, everywhere, we have to learn
how to communicate with Him in the solitude of our hearts. This
solitude will not create any maladjustment in us. The Spiritual
Exercises train us to find God in our daily lives, listening to
what God wants to tell us through life experiences, but if we want
to learn the language of God in daily life we have to become
comfortable spending long hours with Him in the silence of our
solitude.
What is solitude? When
we ask God, in silence, for our truth, for His love and vocation.
God, and only God, transforms our loneliness into solitude. We are
not afraid of our inner emptiness. We do not feel the need to
cover it with alcohol, loud music or friends. We need courage to
walk into the core of our hearts, where we alone know how weak and
confused we are. But that is where I am who I am, good or bad,
loved or forgotten, forgiven or still guilty. That is where God
wants to come, to tell us how much He loves us, respects us and
invites us to let Him transform us according to a plan He has for
each one of us. When we discover God's love in our solitude we
know that He loves us despite our weakness or unfaithfulness.
God's respect and truth is greater than what others think or feel
about us. God's respect and love springs from His own being. The
love of God for each one of us is the basis upon which we build
our lives.
In our solitude we
discover that all our feelings, wounds, doubts, joys and hopes are
the inner world in which we communicate with God. That is where
our faith is built, where hope shines and love grows. Our solitude
is the sacred ground where God often visits us, always announced
by a greeting of peace. In the Spiritual Exercises we want to
initiate our young people into the silence of solitude.
How do we introduce
them into this silence? In their first retreat it is practically
impossible to impose on them complete silence starting from the
first night. In the introductory talk we have to show them the
goal, describe the way. We have to help them become aware of
doubts, questions, desires... We have to encourage them to let
their deep feelings come to the surface and face their loneliness.
It might help to assure them that other young people have walked
along this path finding God and great peace in the process. It may
be good to insist on the need for this inner life and personal
experience of God to inspire our apostolate, answer our questions
and communicate with our friends with real intimacy. The purpose
of these anecdotes and examples should be to elicit the DESIRE FOR
SOLITUDE.
It is important that
the first evening will offer some short but beautiful experiences
of intimacy with God and each other. The tone of the introductions
has to be friendly, attractive, the chapel cozy, the opening Mass
well prepared, the lights and music well adapted. For many of them
this is the first encounter with the spiritual world, other than
the usual church celebrations.
At the same time we have to be firm, demanding some discipline
such as going to bed right away, preventing some talkative
elements from disturbing the others. We have to make sure that
nobody leaves the grounds at night to buy cigarettes or eat pizza.
They should not exchange rooms, gather in small groups or use the
phone without need.
When the majority of
the retreatants are new and young there is a need for several
prayer companions, smart and vigilant to enforce these basic rules
of discipline. On the first night we may show some flexibility if
they talk quietly after Mass, while having a snack. If the young
retreatants are not yet attracted to their inner solitude, and do
not feel yet at ease in silence, I do not think we should be too
strict in imposing it. An excessive discipline can turn the
friendliness and peace of the opening night into a tense
confrontation between the retreatants and the prayer companions.
It is important that the retreatants sleep as much as possible,
that they do not get up early but stay in bed until we wake them
up. On Saturday morning we have to keep them quite busy and remind
them of the need to enjoy a quiet atmosphere for all. It is
important that the Gospel passages and the Conference reflect
their deep questions and desires. That we help them face the
spiritual moment where they live. At the same we have to show them
the way to communicate with God. We can take extra time for the
review of prayer, always allowing free time for those who want to
be on their own or write their diaries.
We need to have peace
and quiet in the common rooms no piano or guitar playing should be
allowed in the common rooms during the free time, and no loud
voices or conversations in the kitchen or nearby. Silence should
be stricter in the afternoon and henceforth.
QUESTIONS:
When do we announce
the silence rules?
How do we give these announcements?
- the opening night,
common agreement...
- before going to bed,
- the Saturday morning,
- beginning of the afternoon,
- at night, after the sharing, before going to bed.
- During Sunday...
What to do if there is
a small talkative group who disturb the others?
What to do if the
majority don't keep silence, or become excited, out of control,
for instance on Saturday night?
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