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One
of the songs in today’s mass was Prayer of St. Francis. It sounded so
inspiring when I recalled the topic of the group meeting the night
before. I thought it would be wonderful that we all had had the
chance to sing this prayer together. Later sung during Communion was
Shelter Me, O God which contained the word “shadow”. This word
caught my interest because it reflects a cool shade in a hot summer
day. I would like to share with you my after-mass reflection.
. . .
As usual,
people clapped hands showing appreciation to the choir when they
finished the last song. It was also the moment all other sounds
became noise and started winding down. First, there was noise of the
pews when the knee-rests were lifted back up. The pew noise subsided
while the people chatting kept on. Then finally the chatting was
gradually fading down and replaced by stillness. The progress was not
as quick as when the pond water comes back to stillness after an
object was dropped in. It was also longer than the time the bell
takes to complete silence from the moment it was struck. I thought of
the bell chu Long bought for us from Vietnam. I had more than enough
time to collect thoughts for the reflection. The first lines of the
song still echoed in my head... Shelter me, O God; hide me in the
shadow of your wings. You alone are my hope...
For a few days
from the moment I got back to the States from a long trip, I have felt
the air was too hot; the sky wasn’t as clear, and the landscape wasn’t
as green as it should have been. It was like I had just taken off the
polarized lens to look at the surroundings. My wish was a cool
beautiful day as it was in Donostia, Spain, where although the same
sun shone all day, I did not need any shadow to feel comfortable. I
related this to my spiritual life and asked myself if I indeed needed
God’s wings to be secured; in other words, if only people in despair
need God. My faith did not allow me to answer otherwise but insisted
that I must embrace God. However, it does not mean that I don’t
forget about God when my life flows smoothly.
It was good to
be home. I felt restored when I came back to the group meeting after
a month missing. There was no expectation that my coming-back should
be a positive experience. The meeting itself made my state of
consciousness. I felt being fed again; like going to a restaurant
when I am really hungry. Perhaps the interruption in my attendance
reminded me that the group meeting is not that boring like I had
previously thought of, occasionally. This time, I enjoyed being there,
instead of just routinely showing up. I paid more attention to how
the music sounded and what the words said. The gospel reading was a
duet, intentionally or not, only the hosts knew. In reality the
verses were exceptionally read alternately with two different voices.
At first I thought Thuy was responsible for narration and Thinh was to
read the conversations like we normally do in the Passion of the
Lord. In a moment of day-dreaming I thought how wonderful when
individuals in the group take turn to contribute not only as duo, trio
... but as a concerto to group activities. Until listening to the
recording, the performers may not realize what the orchestra was
making at the moment when each of them only focused on the staffs and
notes on the sheets. I believe it could happen similarly in our
group’s dynamics. Communal reward is waiting to be seen after we have
walked far enough together. I felt I am one among the community; and
after all, it is good to be home, the shelter that I used to be in.
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