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[
Thach ]
I thought
that I’d take a few minutes to share with you my take on the workshop
and how I perceive our group, NS, will go forward thanks to the so
many “eye opener” revelations that I think we all received from Cura
Personalis (CP).
NguonSong has
seen and been through its own rollercoaster ride lifecycle, probably
much like many other local groups in Dong-Hanh over the years. Our
group has been sitting at the bottom of the plateau with the fewest
active members ever the last couple of years and has not been able to
find any momentum to get over the hump. The timing of this CP workshop
was just impeccable! One big surprise that Jesus pulled for us this
time was that almost everyone of our currently active members went to
the workshop, seven, unlike in the past where only one or two persons
would participate in any Vung or Phongtrao activities, if any at all.
Back then, whoever that was sent away on a mission would have an
unsurmountable task of delivering the message back to the group and
often times, the message and what could have been a new liveblood for
the group was quickly drown out from a lack of enthusiam and response.
There is no convincing to be done this time however! We all went and
each one of us got recharged with new hope and spirit, a new way of
looking at oneself, our own group, and DongHanh as a big family.
During the
one hour on Saturday night our group was allowed to sit together to
discern, it became so vividly clear that our mission and caring we’ve
been sharing all these years suddenly got a huge boost of energy and
are now about to enter a new chapter. We all agreed that a refreshing
change was long overdue for the group and what could have been better
to bring about that positive change than a slew of breath-catching
presentations and workshops that cha Tri and the “Big brothers and
sisters” with a generous heart put together for Trungtay. I personally
have to admit that eventhough Ban Phuc Vu crammed way too much
materials into a two-day weekend, the information presented was so
fundamental and vital that I am not sure if cha Tri could afford not
to, considering how difficult it is to organize such a gathering like
this on a regional scale. Much information might have been passed up
but I am sure that each one of us was able to pick up a certain part
of the workshop well, and with these little parts multiplied by seven
of us that went, we may have accomplished more as a group than we
think.
We set some
new goals for our group going forward that night. We walked away from
the camp with a renewed sense of hope and faith. We have everyone at
the camp, ourselves, and Jesus to thank for, for allowing us a rare
opportunity to be with one another and with Him on this life long
journey.
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[ Loan ]
Từ nhiều năm
qua, vấn đề dành th́ giờ riêng cho bản thân để lo cho sức khoẻ hay một
vài nhu cầu cần thiết như đọc sách, t́m cho ḿnh 5, 10 phút thật thảnh
thơi là điều em đă không làm ... Về đời sống của nhóm, bản thân em có
một số ưu tư mà hầu như không t́m được câu trả lời từ nhiều năm qua:
không t́m được một sức mạnh thiêng liêng để đến với nhóm tuy luôn nhận
được sự nâng đỡ tinh thần của ACE trong nhóm.
Qua khoá CP:
Về cá nhân,
em nhận ra được điều cần thiết phải chăm sóc chính ḿnh về tâm linh và
sức khoẻ để có được b́nh an, b́nh tâm và có sự sảng khoái và năng lực
đem chia sẻ cho những người Chúa gửi đến trong đời sống sinh hoạt hàng
ngày. Có quyết tâm làm phút hồi tâm và chọn cho ḿnh hàng tuần một
thay đổi nhỏ để tu luyện nhân đức.
Về nhóm, mỗi
một cá nhân phải được lớn lên trong đời sống đức tin và phải giúp nhau
và nâng đỡ nhau để cùng tăng trưởng chứ không chỉ dừng lại ở những
nâng đỡ khó khăn trong đời sống hằng ngày. Và cũng thấy được sự cần
thiết phải quan tâm đến tiếng nói của Chúa đến qua những biến cố đó.
Từ đó, trưởng thành hơn về đời sống đức tin. Với những học hỏi mới về
nghệ thuật lắng nghe, chia sẻ, hy vọng tụi em sẽ dễ dàng giúp nhau hơn.
Cần để ư đến nhu cầu của nhau nhiều hơn. Những điều cần thiết cho đời
sống tâm linh của mỗi nhóm viên: cầu nguyện, phút hồi tâm cần được
nhắc nhở trong nhóm thường xuyên hơn.
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[ Thao ]
Dear Nhom,
I just wanted
to let you know that I am doing great. As a wife, a mother of two
young ones and a full time student (I quitted my job to go back to
school), I truly understand how busy and hectic life is...for all of
us. Although I’m not active in St. Polycarp group anymore, I’m with
ya in spirit. I’m very happy that Nhom is resuming – I truly am.
It’s very hard, and I know that 101%. There are
lots of temptations, lots of attachments that pull us back. Every
single time, I planned to go to Nhom meeting, (fellowship with Nhom
Agape, Austin) I always had excuses not to go and those excuses at the
time seemed very legitimate. My baby had not finished eating yet, the
house chores were not done yet… I was having an exam the next day…I
needed to study, do the laundry… maybe I’d just go to the next
fellowship. “Next time” came and “next time” went, I still haven’t
gone to any fellowship meeting yet. One big excuse I thought of is
“Your call is to be a Mom - why don’t you fulfill that call first then
other things can come later....” The list of my excuses can go on and
on for pages. It’s an horrendous ordeal to DETACH from my attachments.
I just came
back from the Cura Personalis training last weekend. I took Bao An
(Grace) with me this time. We were exhausted - both of us. Grace was
very much distressed on the last day because we were all staying up
very late and waking up very early (you know how it goes when you’re
on a retreat/workshop). Grace acted up on the last day. She had eczema
on her neck, her right eye swelled-up and was red. She was
constipated, having running nose, cough, etc. I was very exhausted
physically and emotionally. I kept my composure on the outside, but I
rumbled against God within. “Why did You call us here, and then not
help us - I didn’t learn much - I don’t think I want to come back.” I
hear more rumbling… “You called us here’ how come Grace’s condition
got worse, her eczema was almost healed before we left” and “Did you
really want us here? Or did I make a wrong choice”.
On the last
day of CP, I could not concentrate during mass. The kids cried and
disturbed other people, so I told Minh, my husband, who had come to
join us for mass that morning, to take us home (Minh and Vinh came to
pick us up). I thought to myself, at least now I could go home and
rest but something else happened. Usually it only takes 3 1/2 hours to
get home from Denton to Austin but that evening it took us 7 1/2
hours. The kids were crying in the back of the car. Minh was all
tensed up because traffic was so bad. I could have probably reached
home faster walking. Minh tried to find an alternate route. We rushed
and cut through some back roads to bypass the traffic area, but it
didn’t matter. It didn’t matter which road we took, they were all
congested. Minh was tensed and I could very much feel that, too.
Although we didn’t say a word to each other, we both felt the tension
from one another. And the kid’s crying just added more fuel to the
fire. I wanted to EXPLODE. I wanted so badly to scream and blame. I
felt so bad for Grace because I took her with me and she was in so
much distress. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to calm her, she did
not stop crying. Her crying and Vinh’s screaming.I just could not
handle it anymore.The rumble from within came again. “What do You want
me to do? Asnd where are You?” I could not stand it anymore. I turned
away and looked through our car’s window. I saw horses grazing in the
farm pasture. The breeze - you know how it is when wind gently blows
in the field. It makes waves in the grass. The clear blue sky. The
yellow wild flowers in the field looked beautiful under the sunset.
It’s magnificent.
Although I
felt I didn’t have a “turning point” (or shall we called
them...”graces”) through this CP training as I had with my past
retreats, I felt that there was still a message for me…. Amidst the
chaos, He is there - just turn to Him. I thank God so much for
allowing me to see the beauty of nature, feel HIS presence amidst the
frustration, and feel HIS strength to help me keep my composure. I
felt HIS strong message for me.... I don’t know for sure whether I had
interpreted it correctly or not, but I felt that life is going to be
just the way it is (it’s not gonna change overnight) with all its
issues. I would still have to struggle to manage my time, find time
for the family, my kids, my spiritual growth, and school. There will
still be time of chaos, but I know now that if I would pause and turn
to HIM to feel His presence - the source of my strength – then I will
be able to carry on the call that HE had dreamt for me.
Now, looking
back, I pause to think if I had any regrets taking Grace with me.
There were times at the workshop when I felt like I had failed Grace
as a mom. Grace didn’t eat or sleep well and her eczema acted up (she
is doing a little better now)…. Although I felt horrible and Grace
certainly suffered many discomforts, I think it was all worthwhile to
take Grace along. I would not have traded anything for a good
spiritual foundation for my children. However, I should be more
realistic and be better prepared next time. I saw some very spiritual
teenagers and young adults. I admired them very much. I wasn’t like
them at all when I was their age. After talking to some of their
parents who were also at the workshop, I found out that some of these
teens started their spiritual life when they were just conceived. What
a beautiful thing…!
All of us are
very concerned for our kids. I’m too. I feel that in order for our
kids to be spiritual, I (myself) and Minh have to set an example for
our children. And I know that all of you are. Each and everyone of us
struggle in one way or another. I’m struggling to attend nhom’s
meeting. There are too many attachments and too many VOICES of
distraction in our heads. It’s very difficult to discern which is the
ONE true voice amidst the chaos. I usually discover that true voice
afterward. I now feel peaceful about my decision in taking Grace with
me. I just wanted to share with you my weaknesses as well as my
blessings so that you know you are not alone. We struggle as we go -
and we journey together. After all, that’s what Dong Hanh is all
about, right?
Smile,
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