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Dear
god I ran into my friend at school one day. She ask me " how are you?" and of course I told here I was fine. I wonder why I gave her that answer. I guess it was anautomatic respond. I mean , what are you supposes to say when people ask you things like that? You don't every say:" Well I'm not okay. I feel sick". I guess in a way, I did what everyone else would do, give an answer I know she was expecting. But you know God, deep down in side, I really wanted to tell here. "hey, a am not okay! it has been a lousy day. Can I please have a hug?" I guess when you're sick physically everyone can see that you're not okay, and you can't really lie about being ill. When you're sick inside though, It's very difficult for other to see your wounds. You can always hide behind a smile as I have done for so long, and no one would ever know that you're just faking it. God , how do I tell my love ones when I hurt inside? How do I tell them that my heart is breaking? I ran into my friend again the other day. She stopped and looked at me, " Are you okay?" Shea ask me. Yes, I'm fine". I told here With out saying anything, she came over and gave a hug. Suddenly, all the pain bured inside of me brooke loose and I bursted in to tears. She held me like a wounded child in her arms. God I look back now ans realized that it was you who held me in your arms. It was you who saw my wounds and came to care for me. Your love gave me strength to carry on . now with you by my side, and watching out for me. I think I'm going to be okay. You know what God, If I were to see my friend today, and If she asked my how I am, I can truthfully say: " I'm fine!" And if I don't feel so good, I'm not going to be afraid to ask her for a hug. I'm not going to be afraid to ask you for a hug either. Love, Me NTT(San Diego) |