During the retreat we do not enter into philosophical or theological discussions on the conscience, guilt feelings, the biblical concept of sin, repentance and conversion. But we need a sound theology as a foundation for our talks and guidance. It is said that in the preached retreats, more than in the directed ones, our vision of God and our faith experience have a strong influence on the retreatants. For this reason it is important to build our Theology on the solid ground of Scripture, especially on the New Testament. 

In these observations we focus especially on the themes of “conscience”, “Guilt feelings versus true repentance”, and  the “biblical concept of sin and conversion”. 

I.- To follow our conscience

Our conscience is the inner moral judgment about a specific action before and after it has been performed. We perceive a deep prompting on which way we should act, which choice to make, what way to follow and consequently we sense joy and satisfaction if we have acted accordingly or, on the contrary, a certain sadness and remorse if we did not heed to its voice. 

Vatican II describes eloquently the importance of this judgment:

“In the depths of his conscience, man detects a law which he does not impose upon himself, but which holds him to obedience. Always summoning him to love good and avoid evil, the voice of conscience can when necessary speak to his heart more specifically: do this, shun that. For man has in his heart a law written by God. To obey it is the very dignity of man; according to it he will be judged. Conscience is the most secret core and sanctuary of a man. There he is alone with God, whose voice echoes in his depths. In a wonderful manner conscience reveals that law which is fulfilled by love of God and neighbor” (GS 16). “No one is to be restrained from acting in accordance with his own beliefs, whether privately or publicly, whether alone or in association with others, within due limits” (DH 2). 

1.-  The personal and the objective dimensions of conscience

The  respect given to our responsible freedom doesn’t mean moral subjectivism. A wise evaluation of a moral choice is answerable to objective norms and is done according to values which have not been created by that individual. If we have to follow the voice of our conscience, it is also true that our conscience has to be enlightened by objective norms and principles, expression of the values by which human behavior is guided. 

We are, therefore, supposed to balance both dimensions: the personal, that is: “the inner judgment by which we know the morality of an action”; and the objective, that is: “the confrontation of this judgment with the requirements of truth”. The right to follow our conscience’s voice does not exempt us from the obligation to respect objective values. Both dimensions are necessary and complementary, otherwise we could have moral norms imposed by force, without inner agreement, or a  subjective situation ethics without any objective criteria about the moral quality of these decisions. 

A danger: without ever denying the primacy of personal judgment as the final norm of morality, in many instances the need to abide by objective values is underlined to the point that personal conscience is reduce to a merely mechanical task: passively assessing the requirements, applying them to the specific situation and simply accepting them. A task which could be done by a computer.  

When I only obey the law, the conscience is not the enlightened guide showing me the way to live so that I may reach the final goal, but only the instrument which points out the limits to my freedom, on the basis of the laws and the commandments 

Obeying the law seems the best way to avoid the need to form the conscience and the dangers of listening to its voice. Abiding to what I am told to do seems the best way to avoid subjectivism. According to this point of view the goodness or evil of an action does not depend on the nature of the action but on the fact that these actions have been allowed or forbidden by the authority. When people ask a priest for a clear answer to a complex situation, they do not usually look for information in order to reflect and come to a personal decision; they just want a specific answer that will exonerate them from the burden of personal responsibility: “Father, can we use a preservative?”. Somebody else should assume this burden. We can ask ourselves how much we help them grow as human persons and mature as Christians when we give them a “yes or no” answer? 

2.-  The formation of a conscience.

A conscience needs to be formed if we want its judgment to be objective:  

§  we act with a right conscience (not biased) when our moral judgments are based on solid premises and the conclusion has been reached in a logical, consistent way.  

§  Our conscience is truthful, when the premises upon which it is based are objective, otherwise we will have a false conscience, because it is based on false premises. (We can act with right but false conscience, when we have drawn a logical conclusion on the basis of wrong information).  

§  Finally, we act with a clear and certain conscience when the premises upon which it is based are evident, and exclude a reasonable doubt. We do not pretend to have an absolute certitude. A moral certitude suffices; that is: when we exclude a prudent danger to be wrong. We should not act with a doubtful conscience because, implicitly, we accept the possibility of doing a wrong action. 

3.-  A legalistic approach

For these persons the law is the center of moral order and it is the supreme value unless the reasons against it have sufficient weight. The “law” and “personal freedom” seem to be contradictory. The main question is when and how a person can be exonerated from the obligations of the law and regain some space for free decision. Those who defend the law are considered “rigorists”, those who defend freedom will be seen as “laxists’. However both of them have a “legalistic” mentality. 

4.-  What is good for me

The purpose of the human conscience is dynamic and enlightening. My conscience is enlightening when its horizons go beyond the law and the norms; when the conscience looks for what is good for me and helps me reach the final goal. 

The goodness of an action does not derive from an abstract formulation based on some objective values, but from a specific situation, in which other values may be at play. When different values are in conflict or when tragic consequences prevent us from honoring an obligation, there is no one specific law imposing its force above all the other possible options. In this case only the conscience can and should discern what seems better. Its point of view is not so much the fulfillment of a norm as the search for the best among many possible ways. 

Conscience is, therefore, creative because the morality of a choice derives from the decision taken by the conscience.  

But, what should we do when we are unable to reach a degree of certainty which allows us to decide prudently? When, after careful reflection, we are unable to exclude reasonable doubts, we have enough certitude to conclude than in this case there is no specific obligation and we are free, not to ignore the law, but to do what we consider to be better; that is: what we judge as best and more suitable to us as a whole; the way of proceeding closer to the Gospel.

Therefore we are not guided by the written word of the law, but by what is better to the individual and by what fully respects our dignity in this specific situation. The conscience becomes for the believer the echo of God’s call. Normally it is the law which manifests this ideal, but there is always the possibility of a discrepancy, which only the conscience’s honesty can unravel.
 

II.- Being sorry for our sins and seeking reconciliation 

1.-  The guilt feeling. Doing something wrong creates a disorder, an impurity, a break, a mistake or an infidelity and therefore provokes a bad feeling and the desire to straighten the wrong. The guilt feeling is a logical and natural consequence of a wrong doing, like the pain or the fever in a body’s dysfunction. It  motivates us to seek remedy and healing. Rejecting guilt feelings would deprive us from a beneficial signal towards inner straightening. 

Nonetheless, guilt feelings can be excessive and harmful. Behind all guilt feelings there is anxiety and fear of losing something precious, of being punished. What makes us suffer is not the wrong we have done but the ill consequences which derive from it. Since guilt feelings are something almost mechanical, purification too is obtained as an effect of an scrupulously-well-done rite rather than by the willful intent. Guilt feelings are proportional to the moral gravity of the wrong-doing and reconciliation is also achieved in a magical way, by cathartic and purifying rites which put to silence, more or less successfully, the bad feeling. Since pardon is automatically obtained by the magic power of that action what maters is the careful performance of some prescribed ritual. 

Guilt feelings can also be caused by narcissism, when the wrong action destroys the ideal image we have of ourselves. We might have invested long and painful efforts in order to build our self-image. Confronted with our “unbecoming” behavior we feel disgusted and ashamed. We judge ourselves harder than others do. We are deeply frustrated by our inability to achieve the goals we have hoped for, and to behave up to the trust and expectations of our family and friends. Therefore, at the root of our guilt feelings there is a selfishness, fostered by the wishful traits of our self-ideal. Failure is painful not because the welfare of many is at risk, but simply because our self-image has been damaged, our self-esteem humiliated. The inner thrust is sterile when our energy is invested in achieving a “perfection” which, by the way, is poor in Christian meaning because is not oriented to service and gift of self. 

Furthermore, in this case religious practice is inspired by the same narcissism. God is like a means to achieve the goals which are out of our reach. Thus the careful assessment of progress or regression and the sad feeling of discouragement when our efforts prove to be useless. Or even worse, a pharisaic feeling of contentment if we think to have finally reached our programmed perfection. In both cases, the reason for sadness or joy is a narcissistic perfectionism. What really matters is our own self-image and reputation.  

However, the price for this selfish outlook is always high: a “guilt feeling”, because we are never fully satisfied by our achievements. Remorse is a constant companion: wishing that some wrong-doings had never happened, hoping to be different, suffering because of some past events nobody can erase. Remorse is a useless cry without comfort because what has happen is irremediable. Remorse is a request for help lost in the night, because there is no hope. The future is caught in the past, like a wall. The circle is closed around the person worried only about herself.

2.-  The Christian meaning of repentance and conversion. The Christian grace of repentance presupposes some degree of psychological maturity. Our wrong-doing is seen as hurting our relationship with God and with our brothers and sisters. We see evil in relationship to “the other”. We see evil as it is, without excuses or condemnations. There has been a hurt, personal and communal, and we feel sad about it. 

When we repent for the evil we have done we do not pretend to suppress all the negative feelings that will evidently appear, or try to recover the peace of a good conscience. We don’t even look, first of all, for a new beginning, a renewed behavior. Our only desire is restoring the broken friendship, renewing the commitment, mending the damage we have caused. We do not suffer for our own imperfection, though it hurts being confronted with it. What matters is the breaking of our relationship with the Lord and the damage brought to our friends and brothers. Forgiveness is precious, not for the evils we are spared off – punishment, shame, condemnation –, but because of the renewed friendship and communion. 

Thus, a true awareness of sin does not look backwards, as the guilt feelings do, to make sure we have performed everything needed to be pardoned. We are sure that we have been forgiven, because we have offered to God, to the Church and to our brothers a sincere word of repentance. From now on a new future of hope and glory is open in front of us. We do not pretend that the past has not happened. Repentance and conversion look towards the future; our whole life is readjusted, including a deplorable past, toward a new future. 

3.-  False images of God and wrong religious emphasis

Even the most balanced and mature Christian is not exempt from some false images of God and wrong spiritual emphasis;

§  seeing God as a judge always attentive to even the smallest wrong doing in thought, word or action. Nobody can get away from His control. Some persons can become obsessed by God eyes day and night upon them,

§  using too much fear in religious and pastoral formation. Some persons may interiorize these threats and become spiritually fearful, in little conformity with John’s: “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear” (1 Jn 4,18),

§  some images of eternal punishment in hell do little to encourage a loving and trusting relationship with God. (“Holy fear” is different, because it comes out of love. Perfect love brings holy fear to perfection).

§  we may have emphasize too much personal salvation and some devotions – with a certain magical connotation – whose main aim is to assure eternal salvation,

§  even prayer could become an utilitarian gesture aimed at obtaining God’s protection and favor in our personal plans. 

As a consequence, no few Christians suffer from spiritual anxiety, for instance:

§  they emphasize careful examination of conscience and feel satisfied with themselves if they see progress or become depressed when they do not,

§  the cross and self-imposed suffering may be seen as the only way to placate God’s anger,

§  they may think that natural disasters are a punishment from God because of our wrong doings,

§  they may approach the sacramental confession as a means to get rid of remorse and gain inner peace,

§  many devotions, which often have a deep spiritual value, may be performed mainly to overcome our fears. 

4.-  A biblical understanding of sin and conversion

In the  Bible, God has the initiative in creating the human family at His own image and likeness. God wants to share the fullness of His Trinitarian life with us, humans. This is God’s desire. Yet very soon, we humans turned away from Him. The human family sinned and was unable to communicate again with God. However, God promised a savior. A long wait for the coming of the Savior characterizes the mission of God’ people, despite its infidelities and treasons. From God’s side, we see an unwavering fidelity. When God’s hour comes, Christ’s Death and Resurrection frees the human family from sin and reconciles us with the Father.  

How does the Bible present the mystery of sin?

a) The first approach: as a stain, impurity, uncleanness (in Greek “kakos” as the opposite of  “agazos”). This view  may seem superficial, but is not less true and meaningful. All evil has a dimension of dirt and impurity: any person who touches it is contaminated. A sinful action changes in depth the quality of a person. Doing an evil action, a person becomes unclean and impure. It is not simply a blame at the eyes of those who know about it, but something that affects the very depth of his/her personality. Jesus says: “it is not what goes into a person’s mouth that makes him unclean; rather, what comes out of it makes him unclean” (Mt 1511). Saint Thomas says: “The soul is not made unclean by the contact with external things, by their impact, as if they could affect the soul; but rather on the contrary, the soul is made unclean by inner choices, attaching herself to them in an inordinate manner, acting against the promptings of the reason and of the divine law” (S.Th.I-II, 86-1, ad 1).  

b)  Sin can be seen as “transgression”, going beyond the established boundaries, trespassing the others’ rights. These boundaries and rights have been articulated and brought to us in the laws we are supposed to obey. Many of them are God’s commandment too. By breaking God’s commandments we not only commit a legal disobedience, but we upset God’s plans and step into forbidden ground. By not observing the commandments we are disobedient to God and violate justice disregarding God’s and the other’s rights. 

c) Choosing the wrong way: going astray. A person who undertakes a wrong way will not reach the right destination. It is very frustrating to invest our lives on false goals or wrong ways. To sin is to err, abandoning the ways that lead to God, taking rather the roads which lead to failure. Its outcome cannot be but negative, because we fail to reach the goal and, at the same time, we turn away from God, who wants to walk along with us and is Himself our final goal. Evidently, if choosing the wrong way were only an error, a mistake, we will consider it a regretful accident, but not a sin.  It is a sin when the error was freely chosen, the mistake made in bad faith. 

In real life we seldom act with this accurate degree of perversion. We do what is wrong because its ugly face is not fully visible. It may even look good and beautiful. When we do it we try to convince ourselves that, after all, we are looking for something good; that what we do doesn’t seem as negative and bad as they say. “I hurt nobody!”, “We just want to have some fun!”, “We love each other!”. It is like a game and some cheating is done under the table. We use half truths and manipulate the data in our favor so that we may win the game with a good conscience. In the book of Genesis we read a classic account of this kind of self-justification which allows Adam and Eve to do what they should not (Gen 3, 1-24)[1]. 

d) Being seduced by created values. S.Augustine defines sin as “drifting away from God, choosing the creatures”. This approach is more theological. The evil action is not “loving too much some creatures”, which are always precious and worthy, but putting them above the Creator; making idols out of them and putting them in God’s place. That is why sin is an offense to God.[2] 

Perhaps the best way to describe our unfaithfulness to God is adultery. God Himself has used the symbol of marriage to demonstrate how much He loves His people. Even when we are unfaithful God will always be faithful to us. “I will honor the covenant I made with you when you were young, and I will make a covenant with you that will last forever” (Ez 16,60). Sin is, therefore, an act of unfaithfulness, which hurts God, not because He feels abandoned or frustrated with us humans, but because it hurts Him to see the wrong decisions which bring disgrace to us. 

5.- Mortal and Venial sin. It is in the context of these last observations that mortal sin can be better understood. It is very difficult to measure the gravity of a wrong doing in terms of the law. It is easier in terms of friendship and marital vows. A couple knows when an offense is just a weakness, a selfish action, an unloving decision, and when the covenant between them has been broken.  

In our covenant with God, we commit a mortal sin when we create a definite act according to our deepest and more authentic desire; when we make a decision which comprehends our past and our future, expressing and defining the final truth of our lives, and that truth is: “I’ll not obey God’s will but mine”; when we make up our mind and, willingly and knowingly, we choose a creature rather than the Creator; when we prefer our will to His; when we seek our interest, glory and love rather than His.  

It is “mortal” because it brings spiritual death to us and to others; because by turning away from God we separate ourselves from Him. Our Father-child relationship is no more. While in “venial sin” we drift away and distance ourselves from God, but we do not turn our backs on Him. 

Venial sin[3] is not, therefore, a separation though the distance can, eventually, bring us to it. When we commit a venial sin we put in danger our union of heart and mind with God. Venial sin is not about our shortcomings but about giving in to selfishness and about complicity with the seven capital sins[4], despite the fact that God is the very center of our lives. Venial sin is about being inconsistent and unloving.  

Conclusion. The more sincere we are in surrendering all dimensions of our lives to the Spirit of Christ, the more we will be conquered by love. God’s strength will be present and acting in many areas of our life. However God’s strength will coexist with our weaknesses. As God’s children we do not ignore or try to justify these weaknesses; especially, we do not allow discouragement to take hold of our hearts and separate us from God. On the contrary, precisely because we are weak we need God’s strength. Therefore the key to our vocation as children of God is “surrendering to God and bringing all dimensions of our being: our bodies, minds and spirit, under the influence of the Spirit of Christ”. “Whoever loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and my Father and I will come to him and live with him” (Jn 14,23)[5].